Broken Girl
by NyanRainbowPrincess
Summary: When your self-worth is lost, there's not much you can do. All you can do is pray that you'll be renewed. "Let your tears touch to the ground Lay your shattered pieces down And be amazed by how Grace can take a broken girl And put her back together again" Rating for teen related issues. No cursing involved though.
1. Chapter 1

I held my breath as I held up my pregnancy test to my face.

_Positive._

I felt tears come to my eyes as I sat up from the bathroom door. _This couldn't be happening._

It had only been a little innocent experimentation. I never meant for it to become more than that. Tears cascaded down the side of my face. I wiped them away brushing my fingers along my face in disbelief. Someone knocked on the bathroom door.

"Amu-chan? Are you okay in there?" My mom called out.

"Hai! I'm fine Mama!" I shouted back. I looked into the mirror. _How did I ever sink down to this level? _All I had wanted to do was prove to Ikuto that I really loved him. How did it get to this point? Priscilla had been against it. She said I shouldn't put myself in sexually tempting situations. I didn't listen. None of my other friends really cared. She was the only one who was religious out of all my friends. She was the only one who warned me. And I didn't listen. I just sighed and put my hand on the counter to try and get back up. I twisted the door knob of the bathroom, after fixing my hair.

"Amu-chan, are you okay, sweetie? You were in there for a while," my mom asked.

"I'm fine mama."

"Okay, well, Ikuto came by while you were in the bathroom and wants to talk to you outside," my mom said.

"WHY DOES HE WANT TO SPEAK TO MY AMU-CHAN OUTSIDE ALONE! MY LITTLE GIRL CAN'T GO TALK TO HIM! HE'LL TRY AND KISS HER OR SOMETHING! DON'T LEAVE YOUR DADDY!" my dad shouted bursting into tears. _If he's acting like this from me and Ikuto talking, how much more when he would found out what we did?_

"It's alright Amu, your father will be fine. Tell Ikuto-kun I said hi," my mother stated starting to console my dad.

"Hai." I walked outside to see Ikuto leaning against the gate of my house. He tilted his head to look at me, and then he looked away. I walked up to him nervously. He avoided my glance.

"Ikuto-"

"Amu, I'm breaking up with you." My heart shattered into pieces.

"W-What? Why?" I stuttered not believing my ears.

"Amu, we can't be together anymore. I'm sorry," he whispered before chara-changing and jumping away. I stood there as the wind caressed my face, and let more tears drip down my face.

"But, I'm pregnant..." I whispered, knowing that the father of my child had just abandoned me. I went back inside and straight to my room. My phone was ringing. I looked down and saw that it was Rima.

"Hello?"

"Amu, Priscilla wants to have a sleepover at her house. Are you going to come?" Rima asked. My heart clenched with even more guilt.

"I told you so" she would say easily. There's no way she'd even want to be near me after finding out what I did. I put the phone back up to my ear and kept talking.

"Not at the moment Rima. Tell Priscilla I'm good."

"Are you sure? Is something wrong?" I bit my tongue. I would tell her, but the fear of being judged haunted me. I would've poured out my heart to her, but I'm the one supposed to be strong and help people, not the one showing my weakness. _I have to be strong._ I took a deep breath.

"No Rima, I'm just not feeling up to a sleepover right now..."

"Well, okay. I'll tell Priscilla. See you in school tomorrow Amu," Rima muttered hanging up. I knew she was suspicious, but I couldn't tell her. What I did was too horrible to be forgiven. I turned on my back and stared at my ceiling.

"How could this have happened?" Tears continued to slip out of my eyes as I cried silently. I would give anything to have my charas around. I had given them up, trying to please Ikuto. I started to lie around him, because I wanted him to love me, and I didn't want my parents to know that I was dating him. I stopped being cool, not because I wanted to show him the real me, but because I became so desperate to please him. I stopped being sweet to other girls, because I was afraid they would steal Ikuto from me. That's part of why I only had a few friends now. My charas all left, because I destroyed my self-worth. I silently cried, hoping that everything would be better tomorrow.

The sun's rays peaked through my window as I woke up. I had slept in an odd position, leaving me sore. Swinging my feet over my bed side was a struggle. I stood up and grabbed my clothes heading back to the bathroom. The hot water running down my body did nothing to cleanse how dirty I was feeling. Going to school was not my first priority. I wanted to instead stay home in self pity, but my mother would not allow that. She didn't even know why I would want to stay. I dragged myself to school, wishing that I wouldn't encounter any of my friends.

"Amu-chan!" _My luck just keeps getting worse and worse._ I turned to see Priscilla and Yaya running towards me. Unfortunately, Yaya tripped in a comical fashion. Pepe only shook her head at her owner. Priscilla helped Yaya up before walking towards me after learning from Yaya's mistake.

"Hey Amu! How come you didn't want to come to my sleepover yesterday? It's not like you to miss one of my sleepovers..." Priscilla inquired.

"Yeah! It was so fun Amu-chan! I had so much sugar!" Yaya stated salivating at the thought of candy. Priscilla grabbed a napkin from her pocket and handed it to Yaya. Yaya was also holding a cupcake that seemed to be unharmed from her previous fall.

"We saved you a cupcake," Priscilla beamed. I gently took it from her and started to nibble at it. Priscilla frowned when she saw my hesitation. "Is something wrong?"

"No." I stated. _No one would understand._


	2. Chapter 2

To all Amuto fangirls and anyone looking for romance:

This story is not about romance. It's about redemption. There won't really be any Amuto, and there won't be any Tadamu. Now seeing as I am a Tadamu shipper, I'm gonna put in probably the most miniscule hint. Honestly, the focus of this story isn't about Amuto or Tadamu. It's about a mistake being erased, as if it never existed. That is all.

Love, NyanRainbowPrincess

P.S. There's a negative statement in this chapter. It's not a cuss word, but it's not completely child appropriate either. If any young child is reading this, please have your parents look through it first so that you know if it's okay with them.

* * *

The ticking of the clock on the wall droned in my ears. _Tick, tock. Tick, tock._ 5 minutes until lunch. I watched my classmates chattered carelessly while Nikaidou-sensei tried to calm everyone down. Priscilla, Rima, Tadase, and Nagihiko were talking nearby. I saw Tadase glance at me. Priscilla nudged him and then whispered in his ear. I saw his countenance fall, and I saw Priscilla put a supporting hand on his shoulder. I wondered why he was looking at me. Ever since I started dating Ikuto, I thought he had given up on me. It didn't matter right now. _Ring! _The signal of the bell caused everyone to scurry out of the classroom except my friends. Rima gave me the same look Priscilla gave me earlier after I said everything was fine. I looked down at my mahogany desk. Suddenly, Kusukusu flew into my face.

"C'mon Amu! You've got to smile today!" Kusukusu giggled. The rest of my friend's charas soon landed on my desk and tried to console me. I gave them a slight smile before standing back up. Oh, how I missed my charas.

"Amu-chan." I turned to see all of my friends standing right behind me. I saw that they felt something was wrong.

"What's-"

"I'm fine," I quickly spouted out. Rima pouted and crossed her arms.

"Okay then Amu. If you don't want to tell us what's bothering you right now, that's fine. Just know you can tell us anything. We're your friends," Priscilla stated giving me a smile. _Would they still be my friends after what I've done?_

"I'm really fine Priscilla. No need to worry," I managed to muster before walking with the others to the Royal Garden. As we walked past the outdoor garden that led to the Royal Garden, we saw Saaya making out with some random guy. Rima groaned in disgust.

"Ewww! That's nasty!" Yaya pouted before grabbing Nagihiko's hands and covering her eyes with them. I hadn't even known she had shown up.

"She's such a slut. She has sex with every guy she sees." Rima stated, not caring that Yaya could hear what she said. Yaya gasped before Priscilla covered her ears for her.

"Rima, that's not very nice..."Priscilla muttered.

"It's true though. She doesn't value any kind of relationship..."

"I understand that. I don't condone what she's doing. It's just that I know she's also a broken person. She must be so hungry for love, that she looks towards pleasure to satisfy herself. Oh, Saaya... you were so beautiful and eccentric. What happened to you?" Priscilla said to herself sadly. I noticed my friends' comments, and knew that telling them was not an option at all. The whole lunch period, I didn't pay much attention to what they were talking about. Their words only repeated themselves in my mind, except with them talking about me instead.

_"She's such a slut. She has sex with every guy she sees"_

_"Oh, Amu... you were so beautiful and eccentric. What happened to you?"_

"Amu-chan." I looked up to see Tadase looking at me.

"Eh?" I had zoned out completely.

"I was just wondering if everything was okay with you and Ikuto. You seem pretty upset," Tadase stated. I avoided his eyes. I knew that if he heard what Ikuto and I had done, he would've blamed Ikuto and taken vengeance on him. And he'd feel so betrayed by me. I couldn't bear to see him so upset again.

"Nothing's wrong." I stated. Tadase gave me a disappointed look showing that this wasn't the response he had wanted. Priscilla quickly looked over to Tadase and their eyes caught. Priscilla nodded towards him before he stood up.

"We will have to cut this meeting short. Star-san and I have to go talk." Tadase and Priscilla walked out together. I saw Priscilla loop her arm through Tadase's as they talked. I knew Priscilla liked Tadase. She just wanted me and him together more than she liked him. I chose Ikuto instead. She still seemed unsure. I don't believe she would have any reason to hold back though. Tadase was all hers now. I felt a wave of sadness pass over me, as I realized that I had no one who would love me anymore.

No one at all.


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the school day seemed very elongated. Time passed by very slowly as Amu staggered out of the classroom. She felt a wave of sickness sweep over her as she fled to the bathroom. Priscilla and Rima had seen this, and they decided to follow her. Amu forced open the door of a stall and keeled over. She puked and choked over the toilet. She felt somebody pull her hair behind her neck. She glanced back to see Priscilla holding back her hair while Rima grabbed a bottle of water out of her backpack. Amu finished puking and she wiped her mouth. Priscilla and Rima handed her the water with a towel.

"Thanks." Amu mumbled. She held the water bottle up to her lips and tilted her head backwards. She finished the bottle quickly and Priscilla got it from her to throw it away.

"Are you okay Amu? You don't seem like your usual self today?" Priscilla asked. If only you knew, Amu thought.

"I'm fine, I probably just ate something bad today," Amu stated.

"Are you sure?" Rima asked looking at Amu.

"Yes."

"Okay, just be careful with what you eat from now on," Priscilla winked. Amu mustered up a small smile. Priscilla returned the smile and all three of them walked out of the school. They walked by a pregnancy crisis center. Amu's heart clenched. Everything she saw reminded her that she was pregnant. Her friends waved goodbye to her as she stepped into her bedroom. She sighed. Her room was her only place of peace she had left. She ran to that sanctuary and cried her heart out. Her friends stared after her as soon as the door shut. They both heard the quiet sobs echoing out of Amu's bedroom. They were silent for a moment before Rima spoke.

"She lied." Priscilla didn't need to ask what she meant. Something was gravely wrong with their friend, and she had to find out what it was.

"Didn't Amu act weird when Tadase asked her about Ikuto?" Priscilla responded. Rima looked down at the ground with her bangs covering her eyes.

"If he did anything to her, I will hurt him. He shouldn't have even dreamed of hurting Amu..." Rima muttered clenching her fists. Priscilla put a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry Rima, maybe we're just missing a piece of the puzzle, maybe whatever Amu ate is causing her some kind of pain," Priscilla suggested.

"If you say so," Rima mumbled, "I've got to get home. I'll see you tomorrow." Rima waved and split up from Priscilla to walk home. Priscilla glanced at Amu's house one last time. Priscilla opened the door to her house as soon as she got there and walked into her bedroom. She knelt down on her knees. "

Dear Lord Jesus, please help Amu with whatever she's dealing with. I have a feeling that food isn't causing her to be this way. Please show her that you will always be there for her. And help me to be there for her as much as I can. In Jesus' name, Amen." Priscilla sighed before collapsing on her bed, and then groaning when she remembered her homework. She couldn't focus. Amu needed help to escape from this darkness that was slowly consuming her. Priscilla knew what to do, but she was afraid it wouldn't help. She needed to make up her mind about how to save her friend from the approaching darkness waiting to completely engulf her heart and mind.

**She had to do something. **

**Because if she didn't, no one would.**

* * *

Nyan: Just to let you guys know, I bumped this up to a T rating since this is a bit of a mature topic. Again, if any children are reading this and do not believe their parents would approve of this story, log off right now. Don't keep reading if it's only going to breed disobedience in your hearts. And that's all I have to say for now. So adieu from your favorite author, NyanRainbowPrincess. Please Read and Review.


	4. Chapter 4

A week had passed by and I was still entrenched in m bed, with my head under the covers. My stomach gurgled and bubbled as I rolled onto my side. I puked into the bucket next to my bed and groaned.

"Amu-chan." I lifted my head to see my mother's head poking out from behind the door. "Are you feeling better?" I didn't respond as my cheeks bulged and I vomited once again. "This is the most serious case of the flu I've ever seen. You'll need to stay home from school today." I didn't argue, I only groaned. "I'll bring you lunch in an hour." My mother gently closed the door as I laid my head back down on its pillow. This morning sickness stinks. What I would give to have some of Su's soup right now... My only companion was the tick and tock of the clock in my room. I was too weak to do anything. So I just laid there and wallowed in my pool of self-pity. How could I have ended up like this? I should've never gone to that stupid party. I sighed looking at the basket that used to hold my charas. They would've stopped me from doing what I had done, but I had already let go of them. I realized that I didn't feel so queasy anymore so I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. I smelt the rancid aroma of my previous regurgitation and almost puked again. I grabbed the basket and threw its contents down the toilet. The sound of the flush cause me to omit a sigh of relief from my mouth. I stared at my reflection, and the girl staring back at me had messy pink hair, bags under her eyes, and a slightly dried up trail of saliva starting at her mouth. I cleaned up my face and attempted to brush my hair. Those bags under my eyes were there to stay. I sighed and put on a baggy sweater. I needed some fresh air. The cool breeze outside was refreshing, but I still had problems running through my mind. What am I supposed to do? What if I start showing? A sigh omitted through my mouth once again. I was hopeless. The smiling faces of children with their parents in the middle of the day only caused me to cringe. I don't want that in my future. I passed by the school gates and gazed towards the Royal Garden. I could see Yaya's hyperactive silhouette bouncing around while Nagihiko tried to calm her down. The echoes of Priscilla and Rima's laughter were resonant throughout the air.

"Mwahaha! Halt in your actions peasant! No one shall have the privilege of touching the royal chocolate but me! Mwahahaha!" Tadase's laughter echoed before the sound of a clanging bucket silenced him. I smiled faintly at my friends' antics. I shouldn't ruin their happiness with my problems. It wouldn't be fair. I had to fix this. How could I stop this problem before it spiraled out of control? I thought a bit before turning around sighing. I already knew what would happen to girls like me. They were ridiculed and gossiped about. That's what happened to Saaya, but she never got pregnant. Maybe that was what gave me the false hope that I would be okay. That and the fact that my nerves were frayed. But there had to have been at least one time where it didn't work out for her. How does she save herself then? I shook my bangs out of y face as I squished my toes in the soggy fabric of my boots. Another sigh was omitted from my mouth. Why did I get myself into this situation? What was I going to do? I knew something had to be done. Regardless of whether anyone knew or not- My life was slowly spiraling out of control.


	5. Chapter 5

School. A word many dread. The place where children are forced to spend hours learning skills that would only help if you wanted to build a rocket ship. Let's see how 3.14 can help my situation? School. The place where I feared to tread, because I knew that eventually, I wouldn't be welcome anymore. Hugging my arms to myself, I took one step after another. A sudden weight appeared on my back, and I collapsed.

"Yaya, get off of Amu! You know she's been sick lately!" Priscilla scolded Yaya while Nagihiko pulled her off.

"Did she get cooties? Yaya doesn't want cooties!" Yaya instantly chara changed. "Circle, circle; dot, dot- now you've got the cootie shot!" Yaya stated indenting both of my arms. Everybody sweat-dropped.

"Yaya, the only way Amu would've gotten cooties would've been if Ikuto infected her," Priscilla stated teasingly. My heart clenched. My teeth started to grind. I shouldn't be mad at her. She doesn't even know what happened. She was the only one who disapproved of my relationship. She didn't intend to hurt my feelings. But I didn't care.

"You shouldn't be concerned whether or not he did. You never liked him anyways," I sneered. Priscilla stood and gave me a shocked look before regaining her composure.

"Amu, you know I thought you should've put off dating until after high school. Usually, my friends don't listen to me when I say that. It's true he wasn't my favorite person, but I thought you could be a good influence on him. I just didn't think dating him was a good idea. You know what the Bible says in Song of Solomon 2:7? 'Do not awaken love until the time is right.' I just didn't think this was the right time." I stared at her for only a second before Rima spoke up.

"Priscilla, I love you, but you can't live your whole life according to some old book," Rima stated. Priscilla wasn't fazed.

"Whatever you say Rima, but I hope someday you'll realize that the Bible is truly the Word of God."

"Can we stop talking about this? You're making me uncomfortable," Rima replied quickly. I never paid much heed to Priscilla when she started talking about this stuff, but that thing about not awakening love would've been helpful.

"Let's get to class guys," Nagihiko stated breaking the awkward silence. Rima walked off first, and Priscilla gestured for Nagihiko to follow her. Nagihiko complied. Priscilla, Tadase, and I walked at the same pace.

"Star-san." Priscilla looked to Tadase in response. He only put a hand on her shoulder and she smiled. I don't know what happened with them; they were suddenly best friends who could read each other's minds.

"Hey, Amu," Priscilla stated breaking my train of thought, "Would you like to come to my church this Sunday?" I only looked at her. What would I want to do there? Besides, everyone there would be way too "holy" for me. I saw Priscilla sticking out her bottom lip which started quivering. Ughh.. Oh great... She's using the sparkle technique.

"Fine..."

"Yay!" She jumped up and down happily. Miracle smiled sweetly at me.

"We'll be watching out for you," she giggled before flying off to find the other charas. I saw Tadase smiling at me too. I wonder why he was so happy. We walked through the door of the classroom to see Saaya holding hands with a different guy than last week. Priscilla mumbled under her breath, "You don't have to switch boyfriends every week." She seemed slightly irked by Saaya. I sighed and sat down in my seat. My mind wandered as Nikaido~sensei tried to teach while dropping many items. I didn't laugh like most of my classmates. I needed to find a solution. The bell for recess ran and I lingered behind. I had told my friend to go on without me. Would they leave me if they found out about my situation? I snapped myself away from this thought by shaking my head. I don't want to think like that. I pushed the door open to see Saaya and her posse talking.

"Tell us your secrets, Saaya!"

"Yeah! How do you always avoid getting pregnant?"

"I just use protection. It always works," Saaya chortled. I glared at her. I knew it was nothing but lies that she was feeding them. I clenched my hands. If what she had said was true, I wouldn't even be in this mess. I walked past them angrily. I doubt Saaya could've been safe the whole time. My hand reached around the doorknob to the Royal Garden when I heard voices.

"Something's been really off with Amu for the past two weeks," Nagihiko speculated. My breath caught in my throat.

"Yeah. She needs support for whatever she's going through," Priscilla stated in response.

"I bet you think she's harboring some 'secret sin', don't you?" Rima sneered.

"I feel she's hiding some secret pain, but it may not necessarily be from sin."

"Whatever," Rima stated offhandedly. Why is she so antagonistic towards this stuff? Does that mean she'd be okay with what I did, or would she be consumed in a fit of outrage? I wouldn't know. I didn't want them to keep talking about me. I pulled the door open with a vigorous amount of force. Nagihiko looked up and smiled at me.

"Ohayo Amu-chan," he waved. My fake smile reappeared on my face.

"Hi." I didn't reveal any indication that I had heard their conversation.

"We don't have much to talk about today; we really only have to do paperwork," Tadase explained.

"Yes! I'm so glad I'm a Joker!" Priscilla cheered. Yaya pouted.

"Yaya doesn't want to do paperwork either," Yaya whined. Sweat-drops appeared and disappeared from her statement. Priscilla grabbed my forearm.

"Don't worry guys! We'll get everyone some ice cream," Priscilla volunteered. This only caused Yaya to whine louder while accusing Priscilla of going to eat the ice cream before we got back. Priscilla dragged me by my arm towards the ice cream shop. I saw a head of red hair walking into a building with two white P's on a blue background. I didn't get to read the sign before the chime of the doors ushered me inside.

"We'd like 3 vanilla ice creams with sprinkles on 2 of them, 2 vanilla parfaits, and 1 chocolate ice cream," Priscilla chirped. The salesperson wrote down the order and started scooping up the ice creams.

"Amu." I turned to see Priscilla looking at me curiously.

"What's up?"

"What's been going on with you recently? Something's wrong. I know it," Priscilla stated sternly. I tried to avoid her eyes. "Seriously Amu, you might want to do it before one of my charas comes and makes me chara change." I knew she wasn't kidding. Beauty could make Priscilla pretty scary with those scissors... I sighed. Telling her the truth would hurt. "It's Ikuto, isn't it?" I looked at her shocked. This only gave me away though. "What did he do Amu?" Should I tell her what was happening within me?

"Ikuto broke up with me." It may not be the whole truth, but it's still the truth. I waited for all the "I told you so's", but instead, Priscilla embraced me.

"I'm so sorry." That struck me as odd.

"Why? I though you didn't want me dating him?"  
"I didn't want you guys dating so that you wouldn't get brokenhearted at a point. That doesn't mean I still can't be here for you," Priscilla replied over my shoulder. I was shocked. She'd been advising against this the whole time, yet she wanted to help me broken pieces. I smiled. Maybe this wouldn't end too badly after all. The bells chimed once again and I turned my head to see Saaya walking in looking slightly drowsy. She gave us a drunk-like glare. I ignored it. We walked back to the Royal Garden. The ice cream was handed out, easing Yaya's rage. I licked a stray drop of vanilla dripping down the side of my ice cream cone. I smiled. Maybe all my hope wasn't gone yet. Our meeting soon ended, and I walked by the building Saaya went into earlier. I pushed the bar on the door, and it gave way. I saw many smiling faces. I read the sign on the front desk. 'Planned Parenthood.' But parenthood can't be planned. How's that work? A happy receptionist called me over.

"Hello dear, how could we help you today?" I was slightly thrown off by her friendliness.

"Uhmm... I was really just curious..."

"Well, you could take one of our pamphlets." She handed me a blue pamphlet. I looked at the offered services. Pregnancy counseling. My face after reading this must've revealed my shock.

"Oh honey, do you need help with your pregnancy?" I looked at her shocked.

"Don't worry. We have plenty of girls just like you. I can set up an appointment for you."

"Uhmm..."

"We don't have to tell your parents..." the nurse stated slipping me a sheet of paper that read _Sunday 4:00 p.m._ I wondered why she was so friendly. At least I could finally get some help with my problem. I would tell Priscilla, but there's no way she'd be okay with what I did. I got home and laid down on my bed. I wondered what Sunday would hold for me.


End file.
